March 27th, 2004

HTOC

They time, they are a' changed

Let me first go ahead and state the obvious by mentioning that it has been a very long time. A blessedly long time.

I spent part of my day reading through every one of my previous journal entries. I found myself somewhat entertained, occasionally disgusted, lightly reminiscent and so very happy at the things I've since done and the choices I've since made.

In my opinion, it would not be an error to classify myself as a completely evolved person.

Looking back on the words that I'd posted in the past it's now easy for me to see what a completely miserable person I was. It would appear to me that I spent a large part of my life looking for satisfaction in things that will never, ever bring satisfaction in and of themselves. Most notably: music, the female gender, humour, and friendly banter.

Now none of these things of course are negative on their own merit. Without a solid foundation, however (a realistic and submissive perspective of who I was, why I existed and what assurances I had in my life)...all these things were a waste!

Even more repulsive was my incredible habit of insulting and angrily ranting against those around me. It showed both an ignorant arrogance and a deep-seeded sense of midsguided jealousy.

For all this and more, I apologize.

-I apologize to my schoolmates for never mentioning the hope that is found in the God I long ignored.
-I apologize to my parents for my immaturity and refusal to acknowledge them as humans who were worthy of my time and commitment.
-I apologize to everyone whose friendship I used only for selfish ambition-either to gain acceptance or to profit by their own posessions.

Well, now that the cabinet has been cleaned out and the cobwebs have been dusted off the windows...

Good afternoon.