February 17th, 2006


(no subject)

The wind-chill today is gusting at -20 to -30 below. While waiting for the bus my blood froze. I had to crawl inside an oven to get my circulation working again.

The smoke coming out of chimneys instantly freezes, drops back down the chimneys as ice, and puts out the fires if unsuspecting cold people.

We have to defrost our words in the microwave just to figure out what it is that we’ve said (the old-fashioned types boil them on the stove-top).

Spit becomes a lethal weapon. Urinating is impossible.

My alarm clock is wearing a coat. Chipmunks have commited suicide.