There had been times in my previous churches when I knew true rejoicing. This true rejoicing was a recognition of God's great charity which brought about within me the wonderful combination of intense spiritual heaviness with giddy emotional gladness. I had known this rejoicing in times of prayer, or in the midst of a conversion, or when things within the community which had looked severely impossible became suddenly possible. It was in April of this year, however, during Pascha, that I experienced for the first time true joy that Jesus Christ had risen from the dead. It was the first time that I had ever rejoiced over the Gospel.